Anniversaries, sexting and the bearded gnome
by Kate McK
Summary: Morgan is in trouble.  Again.  Spoiler alert for 4x01.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_A/N I should really learn to just back away from challenges. The 'deleted scenes' is not going to be a thing – I hope. Anyway, I wasn't planning on doing it for ep 1, but coreymon77 thinks Morgan getting confronted about sexting Sarah would be hoot. It probably would be – truth be told, I have no idea, but until I figure it out, here's a little fluff. I have my own nerd and his name is not Chuck. And he's a little shorter._

* * *

Sarah took the paper out of Chuck's hands and put it back on the nightstand. "We will find her, Chuck, I promise." Sarah Walker never made a promise she didn't intend to keep.

"I know," he answered as he cupped the side of her face, running a thumb lightly over her cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Sarah placed her hand over his and shifted it slightly so she could place a kiss against his palm. "I understand why you didn't, but I meant what I said, I don't want you to get hurt. And no secrets."

"No secrets," Chuck echoed, "and I meant what I said too. It's important, but it's not worth losing you." Sarah's heart soared just like it did when he said it earlier. She'd forgiven him instantly and she didn't regret it. Mere minutes before finding out that he kept her out of the loop of his secret mission she thought he was gunned down. She pushed the memory down and moved over Chuck to straddle him.

"You're not gonna lose me," she whispered before bending down capturing his lips in a tantalizing kiss. The mood shifted immediately. "Happy anniversary," she smiled down at him.

Sarah was rewarded with her special Bartowski smile. "Happy anniversary." He reached up and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"You promised me a proper celebration," Sarah said seductively when he pulled away. "No phones needed."

"Yeah, Morgan and his crazy ideas."

Sarah frowned. "You didn't think it was crazy when I was trying to text you for help."

It was Chuck's turn to be confused. "What do you mean?"

"The texts you send me while Casey and I were tied up. You thought we were sexting?"

"I didn't text you, Sarah." He was pretty sure he would remember if he did. As it turned out, PDA was not the only thing he was a little uncomfortable with.

"But if you didn't…" Sarah's voice trailed off when Chuck's eyes grew wide as he recalled what happened. "Chuck?" A horrified look crossed her face. "Please don't tell me…Morgan?" Chuck squeezed his eyes shut and nodded slightly. Then Sarah did something she never did in her life. She shrieked. "Morgan!"

Almost immediately the door opened as Morgan rushed into their bedroom, a light saber gripped tightly over his head. "What's wrong?" His eyes were searching the room for whatever caused his best friend's girlfriend to call for, what he thought, back-up. Then he saw the position Chuck and Sarah was in and his eyes nearly popped out. There was no imminent threat, so his mind conjured up the next 'Morgan-logical' conclusion. "Sarah," he lowered his saber and cleared his throat, "where you calling my name while you and Chuck were…uhm…you know…"

Chuck felt Sarah's body becoming even more rigid, a clear indication that she was going into attack mode. In anticipation of her next move he tightened his grip on her waist. In the same motion he turned his head to his friend. "Morgan, RUN!"

_

* * *

_

A/N Okay, any revenge ideas? There will be an update tomorrow, if not on this story, then on 'covers' – for some reason it's popularity has picked up, so I've been working on chapter 2. Also working on chapter 2 of 'season 4', but that's gonna take a week or two. Exams officially start in 10 days, so please bear with me. All stories will be completed, I promise and Kate keeps her promises too.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_A/N Titles seem so different in the day light. Anyway, I don't own Chuck, but I am going to have fun with Morgan._

* * *

Morgan decided that the quickest way between two points was a straight line. He bolted through the bedroom, yanked the Morgan door open and hurdled over the window sill. His shoelace got caught and he landed outside the apartment beard first. Shrugging his shoe off, he was upright in a millisecond. He noticed Casey unlocking his door. Not deviating from his path, he hopped over the fountain wall, sloshed through the water and jumped out of the fountain. As Casey pushed his apartment door open, Morgan ducked under his arm, ran through the living room and up the stairs. He slipped twice on his wet sock, but recovered quickly.

"Hey, moron," Casey yelled, "you're messing up my floors!"

Sarah heard the commotion outside and tried to free herself from Chuck's grip. As much as his strength thrilled her, right now it was frustrating. She knew a hundred ways to free herself, ninety-nine involved inflicting serious bodily harm. That would put a dent in the plans she had for Chuck tonight, after she dealt with the bearded gnome. She fixed Chuck with her most intimidating glare. "If you don't let go of me this instant, the only action you'll get for the next year would be sexting…with Morgan." She almost smiled when his hands popped off her body like her skin was burning him. It was a lie of course, but he didn't need to know that.

Following the path Morgan has taken, minus a trek through the water, she literally ran into Casey who has taken a step to block the door. Within seconds Chuck showed up at her side. "Let me through," she hissed but Casey just shook his head.

"You need to calm down." He kept his eyes on hers as she was only wearing pj's. Very skimpy pj's. Casey came to think of Walker as a little sister and seeing her dressed like that grossed him out a little. Other men didn't feel the same way though. Mr and Mrs Hedistian just returned from their bingo game at the community centre and Mr Hedistian was very appreciative of the view. Mrs Hedistian was not. What was it with the Bartowskis' significant others to have no qualms about walking around half-naked? Not that she minded doctor Woodcombe's porno shorts that accentuated those lovely hills and valleys.

Casey motioned to Chuck with his eyes to make him aware of their audience. Chuck groaned inwardly. Sarah's gonna be the death of him someday. He pulled his own t-shirt off and simply said, "Sarah, arms." Not taking her eyes of Casey as she tried to figure out a way into the apartment, she lifted her arms and Chuck slipped his shirt over her head. Mrs. Hedistian's eyes roamed over his chest appreciatively and her pacemaker skipped a beat. Now that was better. Mr Hedistian cleared his throat loudly and with a small wave led his wife to their door. He searched his semi-senile mind to try and remember where he put those little blue pills.

"Casey, let me through." He shook his head again.

"Whatever the moron did, I'm sure it's not worth killing him. You need to calm down."

"Stop telling me to calm down! He sextexted me!"

"I still don't know what that means."

Chuck started to blush. He didn't want to be around when his girlfriend explained to John Casey of all people what sextexting is, so he decided to intervene. He moved his foot and hands slightly in case he had to assume the Morgan pose. "Sarah, Morgan was just being a good assistant. I was a little busy at the time and...uhm...look, he came up with the whole idea to ensure our relationship didn't suffer because of the long distance thing." Okay, that sounded so much better in his head.

Sarah turned to him slowly, her eyes spitting fire. "This doesn't bother you?"

"Of course it does, but it's Morgan. He didn't mean anything by it. I'll talk to him."

"Trust me, Chuck, if you see the message, you'll want to do more than just 'talk to him'."

"Wait," Casey interjected, "what is sexting?"

"It's like phone sex, but with pictures and text messages," Sarah explained bluntly and Casey's ears turned red. For good measure she added, "He's probably doing it with Alex too." A plan was forming in her mind and she's going to need Casey's help. Chuck's too, but it shouldn't be that hard to convince him. She didn't use seduction on missions since she and Chuck finally got together, but this was different. Besides, they'll both enjoy it.

"I'll kill him myself," Casey threatened as he turned around. Sarah grabbed his arm.

"No, you're not. We are going to torture him."

"I'll get the equipment from Castle." Chuck whimpered and Sarah shook her head.

"We won't need those. I have something else in mind. Are you in?"

"What do you need me to do?"

"For a start, don't complain about the tax dollars I'm gonna spend."

_

* * *

_

A/N No, I'm not stalling. The little revenge plot is coming together, see you in the next chap. For the record, I found the sexting in episode 1 very hilarious. Morgan was just being a diligent assistant, looking out for his buddy, so it wasn't really that gross. I'm still deciding just how jealous Chuck is going to get about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_A/N Thank you so much for all the reviews and support. You guys rock! Apologies in advance – updates are going to be slower than what you're used to. I need to fit in an entire academic semester into four weeks. Here's something to tie you over in mean time. I've been writing these chapters quite quickly (like I do most things these days – like an energizer bunny on red bull) so sorry for the mistakes that may slip in. _

_I don't own Chuck. _

* * *

"Care to tell me what the plan of action is?" Chuck asked as he helped Sarah into their room through the Morgan door. The door's namesake has slipped out of Casey's bathroom window and had taken off to spend the night at his mother's place. He would rather face some disturbing noises from Big Mike than the wrath of Sarah Walker, not to mention his potential new girlfriend's father.

"No," Sarah answered as she pulled Chuck's t-shirt over his head and threw it at him. "You have goose bumps."

"Yeah, well," Chuck shrugged, "being eyed like you're a piece of butterscotch…what do you mean 'no'. We said no secrets."

"It's not a secret, it's classified information for now." Sarah slipped back under the covers.

"Sarah?"

"Yes, honey," she replied innocently. Chuck sighed. That tone meant he's not getting anything out of her. He sat down on the edge of the bed and tried a different tactic.

"Show me?"

"Show you what, sweetheart?"

"Your phone. I want to see why you're so upset."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to get jealous."

Chuck shook his head slightly. He'll never understand woman. A few minutes ago she was upset that he wasn't bothered enough and now this. "I've explained to you how I see it, so show me. Please?"

"Okay, fine." Sarah handed him her phone. Chuck started scrolling through the messages. His eyes went wide.

"Morgan kisses his mother with that mouth? Oh, he's so dead."

"So you're gonna help us?"

"Oh yeah, I'm in. My buddy needs to learn some boundaries." Something else intrigued Chuck though and he pressed some more buttons on the phone. "Hi ho."

"What?" Sarah sat upright to take the phone from Chuck, but he held it out of reach. "Chuck, what are you looking at?"

"My anniversary gift apparently." He got up and connected the phone to his laptop. Sarah was starting to get an uneasy feeling.

"Chuck, what are you talking about?"

"Give me a minute," he said as he continued the download between the phone and his computer. When he was done, he pressed two more buttons and sat back.

Sarah covered her face with her hands when the pictures she took on the plane started to scroll over the screen. "Oh God," she muttered, "I can't believe you did that."

"Are you kidding me? This is the best screen saver ever." He moved over to the bed and removed Sarah's hands. "It's by far the sexiest thing I've ever seen." Sarah's cheeks turned pink at the compliment.

"They're for your eyes only, okay. Don't even think about loading it on your Buy More computer."

Chuck leant forward and gave her a quick kiss. "I wouldn't dream of it. Jeff's drool will short out the keyboard."

"Gross, thanks for that image."

Chuck simply smiled and got something out of his night stand drawer. "I have a gift for you too."

"We said no gifts."

"I know, but I couldn't help myself. The only thing is…" Chuck hesitated, "Sarah, this…uhm…this may be a little weird now."

"Weird how?"

Chuck opened his hand, revealing the bracelet he gave her a few Christmases ago. Sarah's trained eye spotted the new charm immediately.

"It's supposed to represent the day we met, but after everything that just happened…" he trailed off.

Sarah's finger traced the little cell phone charm still in Chuck's palm. She smiled up into his eyes and captured his face in her hands. "Chuck, it's perfect. Thank you." She leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss. When she pulled back, she held out her arm to him and he fastened the bracelet around her wrist just like he did the first time he gave it to her. Back then it was in the hope that they could have something real and now they were celebrating the fact that it was. Chuck slipped under the covers and Sarah immediately snuggled up to him.

"So are you going to tell me what my role in your little revenge plot is?"

"I need you to fake a flash."

"Sarah, I can't fake a flash."

"You don't have to actually flash. Just confirm everything I say."

"Confirm what?"

"You'll see. Just be at Castle around noon tomorrow for the briefing with Beckman."

"You're getting the general involved? Sarah, you're gonna get into a lot of trouble."

"No, I won't."

"Then why won't you give me more details?"

"Because then you are going to have to lie a lot. I hate it when you lie."

"I must be the only agent in the world whose girlfriend does all the bad spy stuff for him."

"That's because you are the only spy in the world whose girlfriend loves him as much as I love you."

"You know, for someone who's supposed to suck at expressing her feelings, you are doing a mighty fine job."

"What can I say? I've learned from the best."

"I love you too." Chuck tilted Sarah's chin and breathed against her lips, "Now I believe we have some celebrating to do, unless I need to get out my phone…"

"Oh don't you dare…"

_

* * *

_

A/N Okay, so now we've covered sexting and the anniversary. Only thing left is the bearded gnome and the funny will return in the next chapter. Just a note to the Morgan fans – this will be a special kind of torture, the Daniel Shaw scene was a one-time thing. I don't think I have it in me to repeat that kind of violence.

_I'll try to finish this in the next week or two, 'covers' and 'season 4' are unfortunately going to have to take a back seat for now. Until then, stay awesome. Kate_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_A/N Happy birthday Tynianrex! Hope you enjoyed your day off. _

_Okay, so the funny is not back yet, so I tried alcohol :)_

_I don't own Chuck. _

* * *

Chuck was sitting behind the nerdherd desk, daydreaming about the night before. At least there's one good thing to be said for long absences. His thoughts were interrupted.

"Hey, buddy, is Sarah still mad?" Morgan did a quick check to make sure the blonde spy wasn't in sight. Chuck turned to Morgan, schooling his goofy grin into his best 'my-girlfriend-is-gonna-kill-you-and-you're-on-your-own' expression. Well, something that would resemble that look had it existed before today. "Oh crap, you're mad at me too. Look, Chuck, I was just trying to help…and you were busy…and Sarah wanted to…I thought she wanted to…"

"It didn't occur to you to text her back and just say I'm busy?"

"Chuck, you don't leave a girl like that hanging…"

"Morgan," Chuck cut him off, "first of all, you don't send messages like that to your best friend's girlfriend and second, you don't pretend to be said best friend when you do so."

"But Chuck…" Morgan whined.

"Don't but Chuck me, Morgan. How would you feel if you and Alex were sexting…"

"Casey would kill me." Once again he scanned the store, this time for the Colonel.

"Okay, bad example. What if, when you and Anna were still together, she sextexted you and you found out later that it was actually Jeff using Anna's phone?" Chuck cringed as he said it. Major brain stamp.

Morgan paled. "Chuck, that is just…it's just," he visible shivered, "no, no, no, no…I need brain bleach."

"Exactly. Now do you understand how Sarah feels?"

Morgan nodded slowly. "So what's she planning to do to me?"

"I don't know, Morgan." Chuck realized that he didn't have to lie to his best friend. He must remember to thank Sarah later for still looking out for him.

"But you're not going to help her, right Chuck?" Chuck started to feel sorry for his buddy, but then Morgan just had to go and shoot himself in the foot, "I mean bro's before h…"

"Morgan, if you finish that sentence, I swear…" Morgan was saved by Gretha, who suddenly needed his help with the vending machine. Chuck narrowed his eyes as they walked away. He would bet anything that that was Sarah's doing. He was starting to get a new respect, laced with a tiny bit of fear, for his girlfriend.

Chuck noticed the time and with an "Oh, crap," he released the trap door into Castle. Turning on his back to slide down easier, he said a little thank you prayer that he did his own laundry and wouldn't have to explain to Sarah or Ellie why there's dirt marks on the back of his white shirt. As the entrance to Castle drew neared, he lifted his legs and prepared to stick out his arm to grab onto the desk leg to perform his signature 'Chuck's in the Castle' move as soon as he hit the floor. The door opened and…

BAM!

"Owww! What the f….?" Chuck opened his knees a little to see what he, or rather his butt, hit. "Oh, Sarah," he muttered, "you didn't."

Sarah heard the commotion and rushed to Chuck who was lying on the floor. "Are you okay, Chuck?"

"Yeah," he answered as he got up and dusted the seat of his pants. That's gonna leave a mark.

"Why didn't you use the stairs?"

"Because I'm late and the shoot is more fun…or supposed to be. What is all this?" He motioned to the boxes stacked all around Castle. The monitor beeped before Sarah could respond.

"Why's she in DC anyway?" Chuck whispered.

"She had a hair appointment."

"Because no one ties a bun like Franco?"

"It's a French roll and his name is Mark," Sarah whispered back as the General's face appeared on screen.

"'cause that makes it better," he muttered under his breath, earning him a stern look from Sarah.

"Agent Walker, Agent Bartowski. What's so urgent that it couldn't wait for me to get back to Burbank?"

Sarah cleared her throat. "Ma'am, Chuck and I were out grocery shopping yesterday and when we picked up some grape soda for Morgan, Chuck had a flash."

"Chuck flashed on grape soda?"

"Yes, ma'am. We have reason to believe that it may be poisoned." Chuck had to employ all his spy skills not to turn and gape at Sarah.

Beckman squinted her eyes. "Who would want to poison grape soda?"

Sarah decided that roping one of the known terrorist groups into this may be taking it a bit far. "Quite honestly, ma'am, we don't know yet, but Colonel Casey will perform tests on the merchandise I've obtained and I will check out the manufacturer. I've already requested that all operations be shut down." Chuck swallowed and tried to look inconspicuous. Luckily Sarah was leading the briefing.

"And exactly how much merchandise have you obtained, Agent Walker?"

"Everything within a fifty mile radius, General."

"But why grape soda?"

"We believe that whoever did this want to use a test group of sorts, General." Chuck almost jumped as Casey joined them. "Seeing as the market for grape soda is relatively small, it would be easier to determine the effect of the poison. And it wouldn't create a panic just yet." Chuck couldn't believe that Casey was lying to Beckman. He really didn't want Morgan to date Alex.

"I suppose that makes sense. Get on this right away and let me know what you find."

"Yes, General," Casey responded as the screen went blank. Chuck turned to them, looking quite shocked and impressed at the same time.

"And what are we going to find?" He looked from Casey to Sarah. They just shrugged.

"Nothing, of course. All we need to do is wait a while and fill in some reports stating that there was no threat," Sarah explained.

"Okay and just how long is a while?"

"About five to forty-five days."

"Are you telling me that Morgan is going to have to survive on the three cans of grape soda in the fridge for the next week or six?"

"You mean those three cans?" Sarah pointed to the sodas stacked on the desk and Casey gave an amused grunt.

Chuck's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh you're thorough."

Sarah passed behind Chuck, stroking a palm over his bruised butt. Leaning up she whispered seductively in his ear "I was hoping by now you'd know that about me."

_

* * *

_

A/N If anyone have any ideas on making this funnier, please let me know. Also, all you Morgan experts, how do you think he's going to react to this?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_A/N To all of you who called Sarah sweet and devious/evil at the same time – damn right. She's a woman after all. At MC darklydreaming – that's classified. I don't own Chuck._

* * *

Sarah was showing Chuck just how thorough she could be when they heard a resounding 'nooo' through the speakers in Castle. She pulled back from Chuck's lips with a smile. "This I've gotta see."

"What?" Chuck blinked. "Now?" He pulled her closer and kissed the spot in her neck that drove her crazy. Sarah moaned and moved away from him with great effort.

"Sorry, sweetie, but I've worked too hard to miss it." She looked apologetic.

"Okay, fine," Chuck conceded. "I'll join you in a few minutes."

Sarah raised a questioning eyebrow. His flushed face told her the predicament he found himself in. Leaning closer, she captured his earlobe between her lips before whispering "We can't do any more anyway. Casey discovered our stash. I think he's getting it on with Greta."

"Sarah, gross. I didn't need to know that."

"Did it work?"

"What?" Chuck asked confused. Then realization dawned. "That was very, very cruel, but yes, it did." He tucked his shirt back into his pants as Sarah opened the door. Scanning the hallway quickly, she led them out of the supply closet.

"I'll make it up to you," she promised as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek before they rounded the corner to the conference room. What Chuck saw next made him want to cover his eyes and scream in horror. John Casey was watching the monitors. And he was smiling. Teeth and everything.

"Wow," Sarah deadpanned as she joined Casey, "I've never seen a grown man cry like that." And she has stabbed a few in the you know what.

Chuck hightailed it out of Castle. He was cautious of grumpy Casey, no telling what happy Casey might do. "Hi buddy." He looked down at Morgan, who was sitting on the floor, his arms clamped around the vending machine. "What's wrong?" Chuck was surprised that he managed to sound concerned. If this didn't teach Morgan a lesson, nothing would.

"There's no soda, Chuck," Morgan sniffed, "no grape for the man who needs the grape."

"Did you try the LargeMart?"

Morgan nodded. "Lou's Deli too. They're all out."

"Did you try anywhere outside this mall?" It would have been a silly question if it was directed at anyone beside Morgan. This was confirmed when Morgan shook his head. "Well, there you go," Chuck said as he turned to walk away.

"Hey Chuck, can I borrow your NerdHerder?"

"Sorry, Morgan, only nerds are allowed to drive them. Company policy."

"Will you drive me?"

"Sorry buddy," Chuck called over his shoulder. "Not in the mood to do you any favors yet. Peddle safe." Chuck almost felt guilty for sending Morgan on a wild grape soda chase. Almost.

* * *

Chuck hesitated before sticking his key into the door.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked as her hand automatically tightened around the weapon in the small of her back.

"Sarah, I've known Morgan for twenty-two years now and I've never been around him when he hasn't had at least three grape sodas in him for the day. What if he turns into a man-eating zombie or something?"

"Chuck," Sarah said patiently, "there's no such thing as zombies. You watch way too many sci-fi movies."

"Hey," Chuck protested, "if you told me a few years ago you can upload a human being with a computer, I would have told you the same thing."

"That's different, it's technology. Zombies are not." Sarah threw her hands in the air. "I can't believe I'm explaining this to a nerd."

"Well, for all we know Morgan might have some genetic defect or something. I mean, all those hair, it's just unnatural." Chuck was not about to concede and Sarah really wanted a hot bath and a Bartowski foot massage. Or maybe a foot massage in the bathtub.

"Fine. You go in first." She took a small step back.

"M...me? Why me first?"

"Because I'm the girl and you're the guy, you need to protect me," Sarah explained. If Chuck can be ridiculous, so can she.

"I think I'll rather just stay in the car."

"Some knight you turned out to be," Sarah mumbled as she walked past him and opened the door. She stopped in the doorway. "Uh…Chuck?"

"What is it?" he asked nervously as he peered over her shoulder. "Oh God, he's dead." Just then Morgan stirred and opened one eye. He didn't bother to move his head or arm that was lying half off the couch.

"Sooo thirsty," he moaned.

"Can I get you some water, Morgan?" Sarah asked sweetly as she put her bag down on the coffee table, forcing down the sigh of relief that he was still alive.

"Do you have any grape soda on you?" Morgan asked hopefully.

"Couldn't find any?" Chuck wondered if they had something resembling the Oscars for agents, because Sarah was a sure shoe in.

"Nada." Morgan threw his arm over his eyes. "It's the end of the world as we know it."

* * *

If there's one thing Sarah Walker hates, it's déjà vu. Especially bad déjà vu. It took them forever to convince Morgan last night that the world wasn't going to end and to get him to bed. She ended up with a quick shower, no foot rub and a boyfriend so tired, he fell onto the bed and didn't move until this morning. Now she's standing in the doorway again, staring at the bearded gnome passed out on the couch. Chuck came out of the kitchen, a pint of mint ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other.

"Hi honey," he walked across to her and gave her a minty kiss before feeding her a spoonful.

She gestured towards Morgan and swallowed. "Are we doing this again?"

"Oh that," Chuck answered around a mouth of ice cream, "I tranqed him."

Sarah raised a shocked eyebrow. "You tranqed Morgan?"

"Yup, it took three darts."

"What did he do?"

"He switched."

"Switched what?" Sarah's senses told her this was bad. Very bad.

Chuck groaned. "From grape soda to Red Bull."

"Oh crap."

* * *

_A few minutes earlier…_

"Hey Chuck hey Chuck hey Chuck hey Chuck."

"I heard you the first time, Morgan," Chuck finished drying his hair and swung the towel over his shoulder. "Morgan! Get down from there!"

"Yeah yeah yeah, in a minute." Morgan bit his tongue as he concentrated on keeping both the bicycle wheels balanced on the back of the couch. "Now…for…the…magic…" he said dramatically as he stuck both his arms and legs out.

"Morgan! No!" Chuck's warning was too late. Morgan crashed to the floor in a tangle of limbs and spokes.

"I'm okay," he choked out, "spleen…broke…my fall." Chuck sprang forward just in time to prevent the lamp from crashing down on him. "You know, Chuck," he breathed heavily, "I think those guys…in the circus…cheat. They probably use…Velcro or something…to stick the wheels...to the rope."

"I'm sure they do, buddy." Chuck freed Morgan from his bike and helped him up. "Why don't you sit down for a minute? What am I saying? Nine Red Bulls, you're never sitting again."

"You mean never as in never ever ever," Morgan's eyes were wide. "But how am I going to play Halo?"

"You should have thought about that before. See, this is what I was talking about yesterday. You should think about the consequences before you act."

"Or," Morgan scratched his beard, "damn dandruff. Where was I? Oh yeah, you should really learn to think outside the box, Chuck. As long as you concentrate on the adverse effects tropical climates will have on mayo…no, wait, we weren't discussing sandwiches. What was outside the box again?"

"You wanted to play Halo, Morgan, without sitting down."

"Oh yeah yeah yeah. Wait here." Morgan rushed down the hall.

"Morgan, where are you going?" Chuck tried to follow, forgetting the bike he was holding. It was his spleen's turn to break a fall.

"Don't worry, Chuck, you have the bike. Don't hurt yourself!"

"Too late," he moaned as he got up. He pushed the bicycle outside and locked the front door, pocketing the key just in case.

Morgan walked into the living room with a triumphant smile on his face. "See? You just hook these together and pull it over your shoulders like this…" He demonstrated while Chuck just stood there in shock. "Then you can secure the laptop in here. Where's the laptop? Chuck? Chuck, can you hear me?"

"Morgan, are those…?"

"Duh, Chuck, of all people, you should know what these are."

"Morgan, hand them over."

"No. I'm going to play Halo." Morgan folded his arms and tried to look intimidating. Chuck mimicked his stand.

"Give them to me now."

"Make me," Morgan challenged.

Chuck's eyes caught his watch. Sarah was going to be home any moment and she would kill both of them if she walked in and found them like this. Chuck reached for his ankle holster.

"This is for your own good," he aimed the gun at Morgan.

"Shoot me, I dare you." Morgan narrowed his eyes. The first dart caught him in the chest. "You shot me!"

"Are you losing consciousness?"

"Nine Red Bulls, Chuck. You're gonna have to do better than that." Chuck shot him in the chest again.

Morgan looked down at the two red objects. "Ha! Red Bull two, tranq darts zero." The third dart hit him in the neck and he finally fell back over the couch. Chuck had just unhooked the 'laptop harness' when he heard the key in the front door. He ran to the kitchen, disposed of the evidence and grabbed some ice cream from the fridge. He schooled his features before returning to the living room to greet his girlfriend.

* * *

"How long do you think he's going to be out for?" Sarah asked from the closet as she changed into a pair of jeans and tank top.

"Hard to tell," Chuck tried to sneak a peek in the mirror. "Why? Did you have something in mind?" He gave her the Bartowski eyebrow dance when she emerged. She smacked his arm playfully.

"Is that all you can think about?" His stomach chose that moment to grumble.

"That and food apparently." He pulled Sarah onto his lap and gave her a quick kiss.

"Why don't you put Morgan to bed and I'll get dinner started?"

"I'd much rather put you to bed and get Morgan to start dinner."

"Then you shouldn't have tranqed him. You still didn't tell me what he did." Sarah eyed Chuck suspiciously. She always knew when he was hiding something.

"You know, stuff," Chuck waved dismissively as they got up. Sarah wasn't convinced, but she'll make him talk. Later.

* * *

"I swear it's like having a giant two year old," Chuck complained when he joined Sarah in the kitchen.

"Chuck," she turned around slowly, swinging something from her finger. "Why were my bras in the oven?"

_

* * *

_

A/N Yip, this is it for now. We are not done. Sorry for taking so long to update, hope the longer chapter made up for the wait.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_A/N Thank you for all the review guys. I don't own Chuck._

* * *

Sarah rolled over when she felt the mattress dip. "What time is it?" she asked groggily as Chuck got back into bed.

"Still early. Go back to sleep." Sarah had a rare day off and Chuck wasn't due at the BuyMore until noon.

"Where were you?"

"I had to talk to Ellie. She's a little ticked at you by the way."

"Why?"

"Because you didn't ask her to help in your revenge plot against Morgan. She'd wanted to get back at him since he serenaded her in lunch room when she was in eighth grade."

"Which song?"

"The glory of love. He ruined Karate Kid for her."

Sarah let out a snort. "Wish I could have seen that."

"Trust me, you're better off."

"So you roped Ellie in?"

"I had to. One more day of Morgan on Red Bull and I'm gonna use a real gun. Ellie will have a little doctor-patient chat with him to make him aware of the dangers of too much Red Bull. You know, heart palpitations, liver damage, impotency…"

Sarah bolted upright, suddenly wide awake. "What?"

"Sarah, what's wrong?" Chuck sat up too.

"What's wrong is that you…you…you…"

"I what? Sarah, breathe."

"You're not touching that stuff again."

"I'm not…? Oh, Sarah, no, Ellie made that last one up."

"Are you sure?"

"I think so."

"Not good enough, Chuck. No more Red Bull for you. Ever."

Chuck raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'll hang up my wings."

"Good." She fell back onto the pillow and pulled the blanket over her shoulders. "Wake me up before you leave."

* * *

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF…!"

Both Chuck and Sarah sprang out of bed and bolted to the kitchen.

"Morgan, what's wrong?" They both had guns drawn on him. He was hanging over the sink rinsing out his mouth. He shut the water off and dried his lips with the back of his hand.

"That was awful. No, it was dreadful, horrible, appalling…"

"Morgan, it all means the same thing. What did you do?" Chuck asked as they lowered their weapons.

"I tried to make my own grape soda so I blended some grapes and mixed it with club soda. Then I added lavender bubble bath to make it purple. Trust me, Chuck, just because it's more expensive than regular soap, doesn't mean it tastes any better."

Sarah raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "You know what regular soap tastes like?"

"Yeah," Chuck sighed. "We're nerds, remember? High school was…well, you know." She knew, though everyone at James Buchanan High was well aware that she would probably deck them with a violin if they tried anything like that. She rubbed a comforting hand over Chuck's back.

"You guys better get going or you'll be late for work. I'll clean up," she offered in an attempt to make the two nerds feel better.

* * *

Sarah was engrossed in her book when the doorbell rang. Getting up from the couch she made sure her gun was securely tucked in the small of her back. She wasn't expecting anyone, so rather safe than sorry. She opened the door and was greeted by a pimply teenager in a FedEx uniform. His eyes didn't quite make it to above her neckline. Being already annoyed at the interruption and given the fact that it was her day off after all, she responded with "My boyfriend knows kung fu."

The delivery boy's eyes snapped up to hers and he gulped audibly. Wordlessly he held out the clipboard for her to sign, handed over the package and practically ran out the gate. Smiling to herself she closed the door. She examined the parcel marked 'Morgan Grimes'. It didn't take spy to figure out what it was. She tore the brown paper away to reveal a six pack of grape soda. Apparently you can buy anything on EBay. She put it in the kitchen, grabbed her phone and sent a text.

Three minutes later the door opened.

"Hi, Ellie." Sarah gave her a quick hug, careful to avoid the objects in her hand.

"Hi," Ellie greeted back. "I got you message and I brought these." She held up the two syringes. "Why do you need them?"

"You'll see," Sarah responded and Ellie followed her to the kitchen. Explaining what she needed, they set to work as she told Ellie about the happenings of the last few days. Over a few laughs they carefully extracted the soda from the cans and replaced it with Morgan's concoction. Once they were done, Sarah placed the sodas in the fridge and poured them some juice.

"So Morgan tried to make a mobile laptop harness with your bras?" Ellie asked as they made their way back to the living room.

"You should have seen Chuck's face trying to explain why we nearly had grilled underwear for supper. It's adorable how he can still get embarrassed even though he'd seen them a hundred times before."

"Okay," Ellie said holding a hand up, "I'm gonna stop you there. He's still my little brother."

"Sorry," Sarah shrugged. They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about how overprotective Devon is being about the baby that was on the way. And Sarah made sure she got all the facts about the negative effects of Red Bull.

* * *

Sarah had just finished her book when the guys arrived home from work. Chuck leaned over the couch to kiss her. Morgan was practically jumping up and down waiting for them to finish.

"Did a package arrive for me today?" He was as excited as a four year old on Christmas morning.

"In the fridge, Morgan," Sarah answered sweetly and motioned to Chuck with her head as Morgan ran to the kitchen. They watched him yank the door open, grabbing a soda and opening it. He downed the contents. He removed the can from his lips and he swallowed. Then he swallowed again. Morgan studied the can for a moment. His face was a mixture of confusion and nausea.

"What did you do?" Chuck whispered.

"Replaced it with soda-a-la-Morgan," she whispered back.

"What if he starts burping bubbles or something?" A mental image formed at Chuck's words and Sarah lost it.

Morgan finally caught on. "You did this?" he asked incredulously. Sarah nodded. She was laughing too hard to speak. "This was all you? The soda shortage…but how?"

"Super spy, Morgan," Chuck deadpanned, pointing at Sarah. "It's wise to stay on their good side." She had calmed down a bit.

"You couldn't have warned me?" Morgan looked at him accusingly.

"Sometimes you have to learn the hard way, buddy." Chuck turned to Sarah. "Are you even now?" he asked hopefully.

"Almost," Sarah said as she fished his car keys out of his pants pocket. She threw them at Morgan. "Castle. Don't drink too many, you'll get sick."

Morgan didn't have to be told twice. He hightailed out of the door.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because he suffered enough," Sarah answered as she pulled Chuck down towards her, "and we could use a little alone time without our giant two year old."

* * *

_A/N Don't own FedEx or EBay either. And I want to apologize to Red Bull – for everything. Thanks for reading! _


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